Home Is In Your Arms
by Angel Cullen Summers Wyatt
Summary: Bella has to go live with the Cullens because Charlie and Renee pass away but Bella had been in a catatonic state she got out of it but she also has amnisha and she doesn't know that she loved Edward. The vampires from Italy are after her
1. Gone

Chapter One

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**Gone**

**Charlie's Point of View**

I watched my baby girl. She was dead and lifeless inside. What happened to her. What happened to my Bella. If I ever get my hands on Edward Cullen I don't know what I would do. The doctor had told me that she was in a cationic state doubled with amnesia. It was hard the doctor told me that I could either put her in a hospital or I would have to care for her myself. I didn't like the idea of her being locked in a hospital room. So I took her home. Hopefully when Renee gets her she can help me with taking care of her or maybe a change in things would help her.

**One Week Later **

**Renee's Point Of View **

Oh my baby girl! I took one look at her and then I walked back down stairs to talk to Charlie.

"Charlie I want her to come back to Jacksonville with me. I know that you love her just as much as I do but we need to help her." I started to cry

"I was thinking the same thing myself." He sighed

"I'll go start and pack her things." I told him

I was never comfortable with Charlie anymore. I don't know how he stands it here either.

"Bella honey guess what your going to come back to Jacksonville with me. How would you like that huh hon?" I kept my voice light and soft but I was sure that she could still here me.

She was sitting in the rocking chair where I used to rock her to seep when she was a baby. She lifted her head and looked at me with those empty eyes. I had to repress a shiver that was building in my spine.

"I'm not going." She told me.

"Bella honey yes you are you'll just love it there. I can already tell we are going to get you out of this place, its not good for you." I told her in my no nonsense voice.

Charlie came up behind me and walked into the room.

"Bells, I think that it would be a good idea if you moved in with your mother." Charlie said

**Bella's Point Of View**

"I am not going anywhere don't you understand that. My life is here now has been since I decided to move here in the first place." My voice colored with anger

It took me by surprise because it had been a long time since I felt any emotion that was strong. I still felt numb but that was a good thing because I don't know if I could deal with the pain that was in the center of my chest like a gaping hole.

My parents looked at me in shock. What could I say I was in shock. But my mom wasn't having it.

"Bella come on honey come home with me." My mom pleaded

"No. This is my home. You can't take me away from it. Ever. " I stated.

"Bella he hasn't called or wrote or came back its been almost a year." My mom said she was nearly in tears at this time.

I looked at her with shock and anger in my eyes and face. She knew not to talk about _him_. It was forbidden.

"I'm staying here end of conversation, Please leave my room so that I can read in peace." I said harshly

"Fine we give up." Charlie and Renee stormed out.

When I was sure that they were downstairs in the living room. I went over to my bed and curled into a ball trying to keep my emotions under control.

**Charlie's Point Of View **

When we walked into the living room and sat down for a while we sat in silence. Finally I was the one to break it.

"I think that we should let her stay here and before you say anything it's not because of the fact that I'm being selfish." I said calmly

"I know. Maybe your right. She seems so stuck in this place that it could do her some good to stay here. " Renee said. She sounded drawn

"I will call you if there is any change at all." Charlie said.

Renee looked at her watch.

"Well I can still make it to the airport if we go now." Renee said.


	2. The Accident

Chapter Two

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**The Accident**

**Bella's Point Of View**

I raced to the hospital in Seattle where my parents were. The receptionist that called me told me to get down there right away. That my parents had been seriously injured and were in critical condition. I was on my way in a matter of seconds.

I had floored it all the way when I got to the hospital I was told to go to the 7th floor. I raced up the stair way and when I got to the receptionist desk she told me to wait for the doctor to come out and see me.

I waited for an hour the doctor finally came out to talk to me.

"Miss Swan?" He questioned me.

"Yes?" I answered him

"I'm afraid I have bad news your parents have suffered significant damage to the brain and the heart. I'm sorry. But they passed away a few minuets ago. Is there someone I can call for you?" The doctor asked.

"There is no one." I answered him.

"In your fathers wallet I found a card for a lawyer I think that he will be able to help you. I will give you the death certificates so that they won't ask to many questions." The doctor continued.

" Fine." I answered my voice going flat.

He led the way to his office. And he handed them to me. I don't remember how I got home that night but I did I curled up into a ball and went to sleep. Thankfully it was dreamless.

The next day came overcast like I had come to expect. I looked at the address on the card and it was local so I got into my truck and I headed down to the office. The lady there gave me a look and ushered me back into the office.

"Excuse me miss, my name is Liz Morgan. I was told that you wanted to see me?" She said politely

"Yes, I am here about my father Charlie Swan. He passed away last night at Seattle General. I was told to come here." Bella said.

"I am sorry for your loss. Charlie came to me three years ago to make out his will." She said.

She went over to a filling cabinet and got out a file folder and set it on the desk. She opened it as she sat down.

"Everything goes to you. The house is paid for and everything concerning his funeral and whatnot is taken care of. But it also states that if you are still a minor that you have to go live with Carlisle Cullen, I'll contact him. In the mean time you need to go home and get some rest." She said.

When she said that name it hurt but I didn't know why. The only thing that I could ever get my Charlie to tell me was that a guy left me. I resisted the urge to wrap my arm around my torso.

I got up and left the office. And went home to pack up my things in preparation to moving.


	3. Meeting Alice Cullen Again

Chapter Three

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**Meeting Alice Cullen Again**

**Bella's Point Of View **

When the door bell rang it made me jump. I went over to the door and opened it revealed to have a girl about my age with spiky black hair. I guess the best way to describe her is that she was a pixie like form Peter Pan.

"Hello, My name is Isabella Swan, But everyone calls me Bella." I said politely

She looked at me and raised an eyebrow and looked at me with caramel eyes. Like she was searching for something.

"Hello, My name is Alice Cullen." She said with warmth like she knew me.

"Sorry, But have we met before?" I asked my voice wavering. The urge to wrap my arm around my torso was even grater than it was in the lawyers office.

"Yeah, We went to High School together." She replied still looking in my eyes for something.

"Of course you wouldn't know. " I muttered to myself

"Wouldn't know what?" she asked

"A while ago something happened to me. I was in a catatonic state for a while but I still have amnesia." I explained. But my voice was not nearly as lifeless as it had been even a week ago this surprised me.

Alice narrowed her eyes. The expression if looks could kill crossed my mind. I started to back away but she grabbed my hand her expression was open and friendly again. The feel of her hand shocked me a little it was ice cola and hard like marble but my face gave nothing away.

"I wasn't mad at you Bella, I was mad at someone else." Alice explained.

"So is that all you are taking?" she asked

"Yeah, just the essentials." I told her.

"I have to use the rest room really quick do you mind?" Alice asked

"Of, course not. Up the stairs and down the hall the door before my room." I told her.

**Alice's Point Of View**

She really doesn't remember. This is not good. I am going to kill Edward when I get home. But first I'm going to get that shoe box that he told me to get. I got it and hid the pictures, cd, and note in my pockets. I went over to the closet door that stood ajar and found the radio that Emmett got her for her birthday. It had blood on it. I could smell it. I hurried to the bathroom and flushed the toilet. Playing the part of the human charade that we now had to play. I also noticed that her voice sounded almost lifeless like she was an empty shell. What the hell did we do?

"Are you ready to go?" I asked as cheerfully as I could

"Yeah." She replied

We walked out to the car and I started the engine as soon the music started to play she turned it off.

"Don't you like music?" I asked her

"No. I think I used to." She added to herself.

She had her arm wrapped around her torso. But I pretended not to notice. When I get a hold of Edward he is going to pay big time. In the mean time its going to be to be a long ride we had two day's of steady driving ahead.

**Two days later **

When we got home Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Jasper were waiting. It looked like Rose and Edward went on a hunting trip. I spoke to them quietly without Bella hearing me. As we were walking up to the house.

"Carlisle, you need to call a meeting no one run up and hug Bella she doesn't know who we are. I'm going to get her settled in her room." I said

Carlisle gave a slight nod of understanding too fast for Bella to notice anything.

"I'm going to take you up to your room so that you can get unpacked. Then you can come back down here when your ready to. " Alice said.

"That would be nice. Thank you." Bella said.


	4. The Meeting

Chapter Four

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**The Meeting **

**Bella's Point Of View**

"Why is every one staying away from me?" Bella asked

"They just want to give you a little space. That's all." Alice said lightly

We walked up to the front of the house. They looked familiar. Without realizing it my arm wound its way around my torso as if to hold myself together. I stopped in front of the little group. And forced my arm back to my side.

"Which one of you is Carlisle?" I asked

The blonde man who looked to be in his early twenty's answered me.

"I am? What can I do for you?" He asked me gently

"I was told to give you this letter it's from Charlie and Renee." I said my voice breaking.

I handed him the envelope.

"Thank you, I'll read it over. Why don't you go upstairs and rest for a while." Carlisle said in the same gentle voice.

"Thanks for all your doing for me." I said and I sincerely meant it.

With that Alice led me up the porch and into the hallway and lead me up a stair way and into a bed room.

"Do you need anything?" Alice asked

I shook my head no.

"We'll be downstairs if you need anything." Alice said

"That's fine. I think that I'll go to seep anyway." I told her in a tired voice.

**Down stairs **

**Carlisle's Point of View **

Alice came down stairs and she looked like she was contemplating murder. She went over to the couch and sat next to Jasper and waited for me to start.

"Jasper, what did you get from her emotions?" I asked worry obvious in my voice.

"It was like she had no emotions. Compared to when I last saw her, it's like she is an empty shell." Jasper stated.

"I was afraid of this." I muttered.

"Why can't Jasper get a read on her emotions?" Alice wondered aloud.

"My guess is that when we left we caused more damage that way than if we would have stayed. I think that she is in so much pain that she has a kind of numbness that protects her sanity. Like her amnesia it's a from of self preservation I have a feeling that if we crack it she's going to be in serious trouble. You saw how she had her arm wrapped around her torso? And then she pried it away from her body. She's trying to keep herself together." I explained to everyone.

"That's it when _he_ gets back with Rose I am going to kill _him very very slowly_! Alice burst out.

"Alice if you were to kill Edward when Bella did regain her memory she would I believe contemplate taking her life. My theory on why she hasn't already is because the way her mind works is that as long as he exists I can go on. So Alice, calm down. Does she really not remember us?" My question directed at Alice

"I have no doubt. She had to ask who I was. Bella is not that great of an actress you know that. So that meant I had to pretend to be human for the time I was with her. I was in her room because Edward requested that since I was in the neighborhood to pick up the cd and things that he had hidden under a loose floor board. Well when I went out of her room I caught the scent of her blood so I looked in her closet the radio was in her closet in a garbage bag. I would bet that she clawed that thing out with her bare hands." Alice said with anguish in her voice.

"We have to be careful around her act like you would if you were human." Carlisle said

His had flew to the letter from Charlie and Renee.

"What did the letter say Carlisle?" Esme asked

Dear Carlisle,

You're wondering why I would choose you to be Bella's guardian. You are one of my best friends I trust you with Bella. I think that you would be good for her. Though if you're reading this I've passed on. Bella likes you and that is what made me decide to make me put you as her guardian. Please take care of her for me.

Charlie said that you are the best and I like Esme a lot so I think that it would be good for Bella to be with her. I can tell by the way that Charlie and Bella speak about you and Esme that you are the best and I think that Bella loves you like a second set of parents. So please take care of my little girl.

Charlie

And

Renee

Esme was sobbing by this point. I joined her. Esme and I loved Bella like a daughter from the beginning. When she first tripped into Edwards life.

"Alice, you are not allowed to _kill Edward_. Because I think that they can make this work. I know that it will kill him to see what she has become but maybe they can get past this. " I told her

"In the mean time though we act like humans eating and everything." I continued.

Every one including myself grimaced at the thought human food was disgusting.

Then an ear splitting scream erupted from the room in which Alice had put Bella in.

"Don't worry Carlisle she's just having a nightmare." Alice said grimly.

"When will they get back Alice?" I asked

Alice went still for a few seconds.

"Tomorrow morning." Alice said

"Everyone I need you to block your thoughts from Edward until I have a chance to talk to him. Don't make it obvious that you're blocking him. "I told them sternly.

"So, what do we do now?" Emmett asked.

"We wait and see. That's all we can do for now." I answered him

Though his seriousness caught me off guard at that moment. Normally we could count on Emmett to be like a child. I looked at Jasper. He looked like stone. Alice looked about ready to kill Edward the moment he stepped through the door. And finally I looked at Esme one of my reasons for existing. She looked sad and worn through. I myself was not looking forward to the task that lay ahead.

"Before we all go I would like to say a few more things. We have to be considered normal around here which means that we get up in the morning and we eat at regular intervals and we go to bed. I know that the food is disgusting and we will need to now sneak out to hunt but we have to do what's best at the present time. Jasper you may want to leave and go hunting for a few day's because when Edward gets home. . . "I trailed off

"Of course I'll go right now. I'll take Alice with me to. That way she won't be tempted to kill Edward on sight." Jasper said warily

Jasper took Alice by the hand and they were off. Now all we had to do was wait and I had a feeling that when Edward got home it wasn't going to be pleasant.


	5. Talking To Edward

Chapter Five

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**Talking To Edward**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

The tension was building. I could feel it. Bella was oblivious that something was wrong. She had stayed in her room the whole night. She was out grocery shopping with Esme so that way if something goes wrong she wouldn't be hurt. It was about 9:00 a.m. Alice said that he would be here by no later than 9:15. I sighed. As I waited in the front yard by the woods.

"Rose, Emmett is upstairs something has happened he will fill you in. Edward I need you to come with me. We have to talk." I said my voice had an edge in it that neither one of them would dare to question.

She emerged from the trees a few minutes later. Confusion on her face as she ran past me and into the house. To talk to Emmett. Edward came to a stop at the edge of the wood. Something in my face must have told him that I would not tolerate interruptions from him. Because when I walked over to him he didn't ask what I wanted. I was careful to keep my thoughts on the meadow near the house.

_Edward, follow me to the meadow we have some things to discuss_. I though to him.

He nodded understanding and followed. We ran and we were there in a few seconds.

"Edward, Charlie and Renee got into a car accident. Fortunately Bella wasn't in the car when it happened." I said my voice was calm.

Before he could interrupt I continued.

"Don't interrupt this is very important and I need you to listen to what I have to say before you leave do you understand?" I questioned him

"Yes." He said. His voice was flat.

"They gave me and Esme guardianship of Bella because she is only seventeen. She arrived yesterday. But she is in really bad shape. When you told Alice to get that stuff she was also going to get Bella. She didn't remember Alice. When you decided to protect Bella from what you perceive as a threat you destroyed her. According to her she was in a catatonic state and she has amnesia. She doesn't know who you are or your history. I assume that Charlie and Renee didn't want her to remember and thought that if she didn't know that she wouldn't hurt. But I think that being around you she will remember and I'm afraid of that. Jasper couldn't read her emotions. He said that its like she is an empty shell. And if she gets her memory back her pain will come back as well and I don't know if her mind is strong enough to take that." I finished hoping that he would understand that he couldn't do anything rash.

**Edward's Point Of View**

What have I done. Then my mind went blank I started to sob.

"Edward I know that you are upset but I think that it would be best if you came back but if you acted like you weren't involved with her." Carlisle said.

But I wasn't paying attention. I was in to much pain. I thought that by leaving her I would be protecting her not hurting her even more than if I would have stayed.

"Where is she?" I managed to get out.

"She is grocery shopping with Esme right now, I would also watch it. Alice wants do kill you and I wouldn't underestimate her. She was very upset the way she found Bella." Carlisle told me in a no nonsense voice

"We are also going to have to act more human around Bella like eat, "sleep." Things like that." Carlisle continued.

"Fine." I told him in a flat voice

We now were walking back to the house.

I was going to get Bella back no matter what I myself had not been like I was I loved her with my entire existence and it was killing me to keep myself from her. I just wouldn't let anyone know it.

We got back to the house and after a while Esme's car pulled up. I went out to help with the groceries. That's when I saw her again I wanted to go and run up and hold her but I resisted the urge to do so.

Bella looked so wrong. Like the life was drained out of her. She smelled the same her floral scent was like a kind of heaven to my senses I haven't smelled it in so long.


	6. Meeting Edward Cullen

Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**Meeting Edward Cullen **

**Bella's Point Of View**

When we got home I started to help Esme with unloading the groceries from the car. After I got a load full I started to walk up to the house. When I looked up I saw a guy. He was more god like in reality or maybe a fallen angel. He had strange bronze hair and topaz eyes. I found that I couldn't move away no matter how I tried like I was frozen where I stood.

"Who is that?" I asked Esme my voice cracking

"That is my son, Edward. He just got back from a camping trip with his sister Rosalie and some of their friends." Esme explained

Then she looked up and saw my face I was sure of it because of what she said next.

"What's wrong? Are you ok do you need me to get you anything?" Esme asked worried.

"No, I'm fine I think." I told her as calmly as I could but my voice was shaking.

Esme continued to look at me with worried eyes. But didn't ask me anymore questions. Then Edward came over to help unload the car. With his help it only took one more trip.

"So what do you want to do?" Esme asked

"I think that I'm going to go sit in my room and get everything unpacked and organized." I told her in my still lifeless voice.

"Ok. Call down if you need anything ok." Esme told me.

I nodded my head. Just relieved that I had something to do that would keep me away from everyone.

**Rosalie's Point of View**

"Well he certainly did it again didn't he." I said dryly

But really I could kill him. If he had just ignored her in the first place like he was supposed to then this wouldn't be happening.

"So she remembers nothing?" I questioned Emmett again.

"No, she does not remember a thing. I don't get why your mad at him though Rose it's not his fault." Emmett defended

"Don't worry. About it I'll let him clean up his mess his own way. I won't interfere I'll even be nice to her. Does that make you happy?" Rosalie purred to Emmett.

"Rose, she has no idea what she walked into like she did before. She isn't the same as she used to be. You'll see what I mean when you "meet" her again." Emmett said haltingly

I just rolled my eyes. Whatever I'll deal with it later.

**Esme's Point Of View**

I feel so helpless. I know Bella is in pain but I can't help her with it and it's frustrating. But I think that Carlisle is right when she finally remembers there will be some extreme changes. She has changed so much its hard just to look at her knowing what she was like before. I have no idea how horrible Charlie and Renee felt. To have a vibrant and alive daughter one day and a lifeless but living one the next. I shuttered. It reminded me of Edward up until he went hunting with Rose. I turned back to the stove and finished the soup that I had made for Bella. I went up into her room to give it to her.

"Bella, I made you some soup, I though that you might be hungry." I said.

"Thank you, Esme. Not just for the soup but for letting me come here and live with you. I don't know what I would have done. I was going nuts in my house with no one to talk to." Bella said as she shuttered.

I reached over and handed her the soup. It was about 3:30 in the afternoon.

"We are going to have dinner at 5:00." I told her

"Ok, I'll be down then." She assured me.

**Later**

**Bella's Point of View **

I went down to dinner. I really didn't want to. I liked to be by myself but I figured that I had to at least try and act normal for them to accept me here. So I went down to face them.

"Bella, we were worried. What took you so long?" Esme asked looking concerned

I forced a smile and then replied

"I just lost track of the time that's all."

"Bella this is Rosalie." Carlisle said

He pointed in the direction of a girl with blond hair and supermodel good looks.

"Hi." Was all I could mange

"Hello, Bella." Rosalie said

On the table I noticed that there was baked chicken and mashed potatoes and some salad stuff.

"Know what I'm not hungry I think that I'll go up to my room and read for a while. " I lied

I knew I was being rude and that my actions were unexplainable but I just had to get out of there. The pain in was becoming unbearable. I just had to escape. I got up from the table my arm automatically raped it's self around my torso, I couldn't help it. I had to keep myself from running back up to my room.

**Carlisle's Point of View **

Stay put Edward don't go after her. I thought to him

He turned his head slowly to face me. I could see the pain in his eyes. Then Rose broke through my thoughts.

"How could you Edward." Rose hissed

He didn't answer her.

"Now I understand why Alice wants to kill you so badly. If I thought for a second I could get away with it I wouldn't kill you now that would be too simple so easy you would suffer you would be praying to die by the time I got through with you." Rose told him.

"Rose, calm down. I don't think that what you could do to would even compare to what he is doing to himself right now. Although, I think that he was not trying to cause Bella pain in leaving her but he was trying to protect her." I told her in a soft voice.

"I'm just glad that she didn't shatter when she saw Edward again." I told her.

"I'm going to go check on her." Edward told me.

I nodded my head in agreement.


	7. Waking Up

Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**Waking Up**

**Edward's Point of View**

I raced up the stairs. I stopped in front of her doorway. I knocked. But no one answered.

So I went down to my room and listened to what she was doing instead.

**Later**

I went to her doorway and I walked in I knew she was sleeping. I went over and I laid down on the bed and wrapped my arms gently around her. She moved closer to me. She started to talk in her sleep.

"_You don't love me?" she whispered_

"_No! don't go please don't go I love you. Please don't leave me." She pleaded _

"_He's gone." She kept on murmuring in her sleep _

I was sobbing the whole time. What did I do to her. When she started to cry then in a fraction of a second later she let out a piercing scream. I did the only thing that I could think of to calm her I kissed her.

**Bella's Point of View**

I woke up to Edward kissing me. Then it all came rushing back to me. I started to struggle to get away from him. He let go. I ran over to the corner of the room and curled into a ball. I wrapped both arms around my torso trying to keep the pain in but it had come back with a vengeance there was a whole in the center of my chest and it tore into me. I was crying really hard. For my loss. Then I heard him howling in pain. Like it wasn't just my pain but his own. Before I knew what was happening someone scooped me up in their arms and placed me on a soft bed. But I was still crying.

"Do you think she'll be alright Carlisle?" I heard Rosalie ask

"I won't know until she can talk to me." Carlisle told her.

"What about Edward?" She asked

I visibly flinched at the sound of_ his_ name. The name that I couldn't stand to hear the name that held so many memories. I cried even harder if that was possible.

"I don't know. I told him not to do this." Carlisle said in a soft voice.

That seemed to have an effect on me. Though the hole in my chest still hurt, I couldn't stand the thought of him being in pain. I stopped crying. But the only thing that I regret is that I didn't have the numbness to protect me.

Then I fell into a dreamless sleep for the first time in a long time.

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

I put my syringe away. I had sedated her in hopes that sleep would help to heal her. I made my way to my office. Where Edward was. I carefully kept my mind on something else. I walked through the door. He was slumped in one of the chairs by the fire. As soon as I sat down in the chair opposite of him. He looked up at me.

"How is she?" His voice cracked

"She's ok right now I had to sedate her though." I told him.

"I was so stupid. But my instincts took over." He said almost to low for me to hear him.

"We just have to be careful right now especially." Carlisle said

"Do you think that she will be ok?" Edward asked his voice breaking.

"As a doctor I don't know. As a parent I would like to think so. We don't know Bella is strange for a human you know that, she is not like the other human's. I think that you were given a second chance. So don't waste it. Don't go to her I want to talk to her when she is ready. Ok? I added sternly

"Alright. But not a second more." Edward replied


	8. Remembering

Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**Remembering **

**Bella's Point Of View **

I woke up to voices talking next to me. I opened my eyes and flinched. The hole in my chest was still there still as painful as ever so I wrapped my arms more tightly against my chest to hold myself together. Then two earsplitting screams erupted from somewhere.

"Jasper what is it?" Alice asked worried

Jasper? I thought to myself. I looked over and he was crumpled. Then it hit me again I was hurting him with my emotions. I threw off the covers and ran down the stairs and bolted out the door. I ran into the forest and I fell down a few times and got back up until I came to a clearing. It was a meadow it looked like the meadow back in Forks. The pain overwhelmed me. I dropped down to my knees and fell over. I don't know how long I was there. But I felt a pair of stone cold arms lift me and cradle me to their chest. I wasn't Edward of that I was sure. The smell was different. But that didn't matter. I was sobbing to hard.

"Bella. Look at me please." Carlisle asked gently

I looked at him but it was with effort.

"Thank you. We are going to go back to the house now. I would like it very much if you would tell me what happened when we left." He continued very gently

All I could do was nod at him.

"Is Jasper ok? Who else was screaming?" I whispered to him but I knew he heard.

I saw the hesitation in his face. It looked like he was having an internal debate on whether or not he was going to tell me.

"When you came Jasper didn't have any sense on what your emotions were. So incase when Edward came home and it opened the flood gate to your emotions he was not in the near vicinity when it happened. So I told them to go away for a few days. But Alice convinced him to come back and when you woke up this morning with him and Alice in the room he felt your pain. Simply put. As for the last part of your question I think that you know that answer you are just blocking it. And I don't blame you." Carlisle gently explained.

I had flinched when he said _his_ name. But he pretended he didn't notice. I also didn't notice that we were back at the house already. Carlisle put me down and I followed him up into his office.

"I'll be back in second Bella I have to take care of something first." Carlisle said hesitating

"I'll be right here." I told him flatly

**Carlisle's Point of View**

I turned around and headed to Edward's room. I knocked on the door though he knew I was coming.

"Come in Carlisle." He said his voice was full of anguish

I walked in the door but before I could say a word he was rapidly firing questions at me.

"Where is Bella? Is she alright? Can I go and see her? Edward asked his voice just as anguished.

"Bella is in my office. No you can't go and see her I want to talk to her first. She is fine physically except for a few scraps. I don't want you listening in on me and Bella's conversation I think that if I do you will be even more distraught so you have a choice. Don't listen and you can stay in the house or you go out in the forest somewhere until I call you in." I finished

"I won't listen I promise." Edward said sincerely

"Fine I am going back to talk to Bella." I told him

**Edward's Point of View**

I really hated lying to Carlisle. But I need to know what I did. So that maybe I can help her so that she could someday forgive me. So I reclined on the couch and waited.

**Bella's Point of View**

I had my eyes closed as if I was sleeping but I was mentally preparing for the ordeal that I would face in a matter of minutes. I was all to soon when I heard the door open and shut it was done on purpose so that I would know when he returned.

"Are you ready?" He asked me

"Sure. Where do you want me to start." I asked my voice was still flat

"How about after Edward left you in the forest." Carlisle said

I flinched but looked up at him.

"After _he_, told me that I wasn't good for him, he took off in the forest at vampire speed. I foolishly started to follow him because I knew that if I didn't find him that I would be finished. His shoes left no trail for me to follow so I wondered into the woods after him. I fell a lot but at some point when I fell I didn't get back up. The rain had started falling and then my mind really hadn't processed anything except that_ life love and meaning was over for me_. I don't know how much time had passed. But a huge wolf came up to me it looked like a horse almost but my body refused to move. It sniffed me for some odd reason and then left. Then a few minutes later Sam Uley. A guy from the reservation came up and picked me up and cradled me to his chest like _he_ used to do. The only difference was he was warm much to warm now that I think about it. But At that point my mind was still ok. It wasn't until later that I shut down. Charlie had gotten off the phone with someone I can't remember who but I had heard him talking about where you had gotten a new job at. In LA. I knew that you wouldn't go there not ever because of the sun. That's when I guess you could say that I snapped. Then the next thing that I remember is when I woke up in a hospital bed. I couldn't remember who I was or who the man next to me was. That was when they told me who I was and everything except for the things that I have just told you I think that they didn't want me to remember all I knew was that someone and I knew it was a he somehow hurt me deeply. I was told that I also suffered from low grade catatonia. You see I would do everything but it was just like I was going through the motions of it not like I was really there. The nightmares were horrible but they were bearable because of the numbness that I had to protect me." I finished

I was looking into his eyes and there was pain, sadness and some other emotions in there that I couldn't name.

"I'm so sorry Bella." He whispered.

"I figured out something from all of this though. It taught me that I shouldn't love because once you gave someone that love it gave them power over you. The power to break you. I am broken beyond repair. So it's a lesson that I learned a little to late huh?" I told him matter of fact tone of voice


	9. Bittersweet

Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**Bittersweet**

**Bella's Point Of View **

I could tell that I had shocked Carlisle with what I had said but it was true. If you loved someone they could break you. Just like I have been. I felt a weight on my left hand I looked down at it. On her middle finger was a ring that _he_ had gave her. She lifted her hand and gently slid it off her finger.

"Bella I know that we hurt you when we left but . . . ." Carlisle was saying but I cut him off with a look.

"You have no idea what kind of pain I am going through. The only one that might have a clue and that is Jasper." I said sharply.

I made no attempt to hide my anger from him. My life was completely and utterly destroyed and all he could do was make a pathetic attempt at an apology that _he_ should have made. I got up from my chair.

"I'm going to find Alice." I said.

"Alright." Carlisle said.

**Edward's Point of View**

Her words sent me reeling. I had no idea that I had put her in so much pain. I forced my self to unwind my limbs from the pain that I had experienced from listening to what she had to say. I don't know if there is ever going to be a way for her to be mine again. But I had to try. Because I love her more than anything.

"Edward?" Rosalie said breaking my thoughts.

It took me by surprise that she was in here and that was a hard thing to do I though dryly.

"Yes, What is it Rose?" I answered her.

"I was just wondering if you would like to go with me and Emmett to the car show tonight." Rose replied

"No. I'm going to stay here tonight." I told her.

Rosalie shrugged.

_Just thought I would ask_. She thought.

**Bella's Point of View**

I got up and walked out of Carlisle's office. Alice was outside of the door before I even had to go and find her. Duh I thought to myself she would have saw this coming from a mile she is _psychic_.

"So what do you want to do?" Alice asked cautiously

"Anything. Just get me out of here please." I told her.

She looked at me funny. Which I guess is to be expected I had just given her free rein. Something that I never would have done before.

"Really." I told her.

"Alright. Just let me go and take care of something. I'll back in a few minuets." She told me.

**Alice's Point of View**

Some thing is not right. She would never let me have free rein before. I ran up the stairs. I went into Edward's room without knocking.

"I'm going to take Bella out for a little while. So don't worry about where she's at. Just so we are clear, you do anything that causes her even the slightest bit of pain I will kill you do you understand?" My voice was quiet but I knew that he could hear me.

"Alice in order for me to get things right with her again it's going to hurt." Edward said

"Just be careful." I cautioned him.

I went back downstairs where Bella was still waiting and we left.

**Bella's Point of View**

We were flying by everything and I was finally able to relax when we hit city limits. We were away from the house and that is all that I had asked for. The day was overcast but it wasn't to chilly. We turned off into a park. This surprised me. Knowing Alice as I do I thought that we would be heading to the nearest mall. She pulled up into a parking spot and cut the engine she got up in one graceful motion. I followed just not as gracefully. She walked over and sat on a park bench I followed suit.

"How's Jasper doing?" I asked her genuinely worried.

"He's fine now. He scared my though he has never gone down like that even after all that he's been through." Alice said distantly

I was fiddling with the ring that I had taken of my finger earlier.

"Who else screamed?" I asked my voice worried

"Bella think who else among us would have been in tune with you and Jasper?" Alice said.

I looked at her for a moment I was dumbfounded. _Why_ wouldn't she just tell me the answer? I thought to myself. It couldn't have been her she saw the future, Carlisle has great compassion. Esme has the mothering instincts. Rosalie was the stubborn one. Emmett the eternal childish one. Jasper could tell what you were feeling. Who did that leave? Then it came to me

"_Edward_." My lips curled involuntarily at the name.

"Yes. He felt the pain he caused you through Jasper." Alice said grimly

"Why Alice? _Why did he do this to me_?" I asked her.

I was on the verge of crying.

"You have to talk to him. I can't answer for him." Alice said gently.

"I don't even know if I want to see him is that terrible of me." I said with my eyes.

"We need to get back it's getting late. " Alice said.

When we got back to the house I went into the kitchen and I grabbed the first thing that I saw and ate it then went upstairs to my room. By some agreement between all of them they didn't disturb me for that I was grateful. It gave me some time to think. I wish I had the numbness to blanket my brain but was happy that I had my memories. So it was a bittersweet moment. Then I closed my eyes. And not even a moment later a pair of stone arms encircled me.


	10. Pulling Away

Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**Pulling Away**

**Bella's Point of View**

I stiffened. I couldn't deal with this yet. Not tonight. I started to pull away. But he kept me where I was.

"Please let me go." My voice was no more than a whisper.

"Bella I'm so sorry, I had no idea." Edward said his voice cracking.

"I can't do this right now, please let me go I repeated." My voice straining.

It was an effort to keep my composure. But I knew that I had to.

"Bella I need to explain to you why I did what I did…" Edward trailed off.

At that moment I sent my books crashing to the floor from my nightstand in an effort that someone would come and interrupt us. A few seconds later Rosalie opened the door.

"What's going on in here you are making enough noise to wake the dead." Rose complained.

"_Rose, please help me_." I pleaded with my eyes.

It was then that she took in the scene with him at my back and me encircled in his arms. She looked positively livid.

"Edward, you have three choices. One come downstairs with me and stay there. Two I get Emmett and Carlisle to forcibly remove you to the downstairs and stay there. Or three I call Alice and she will most likely _kill _you. Your choice." Rosalie hissed.

I flinched when she mentioned the third option. I was finally was able to move out of his hold and stand near the closet door on the opposite side of the room. Where I knew that he could see me but where he wouldn't be able to get to me as readily with Rosalie there.

"Me and Bella were just talking." Edward said tersely

"I don't want to talk. Please go. I'm not ready for the difficult discussions yet." I said there was sadness pain and anger in my voice that was unmistakable.

Edward slowly got up from the bed. He looked from Rosalie to me and I flinched and looked away. I couldn't help it. His back stiffened as though he had received a blow. I started to softly cry. I could still feel him looking at me.

"When your ready Bella you know where I will be." Edward said stiffly.

That was it I snapped.

"How _DARE YOU_! You know _EXACTLY_ how I feel and your acting like _I'm _the one that _left_ you and not the other way around! Yet you act like _I'm_ the one who hurt you beyond all reason! You can't even begin to _comprehend_ the damage that you have done to me! I screamed.

I started throwing anything I got my hands on. But my gaze suddenly caught the sparkle of my ring the ring that he gave me. I ripped it off my finger. I threw it at him. But he caught it in mid air. I fell from where I was standing and curled into a ball and started crying. He came over to me. I pulled away. Then he was pulled away from me by Carlisle who probably heard all of the noise.

"I told you it would be ok if you talked to her when she was ready but I told you not to do this! What have you done?" Carlisle said angrily

"I don't know. What have I done?" Edward kept murmuring over and over to himself.

"Edward go downstairs with the rest of the family. You are not to see Bella until she comes to you do you understand that." Carlisle told him

"Yes." His voice sounding defeated

**Edward's Point of View**

I did it again. Good intentions gone bad. I went to my room and barricaded it shut. My fingers were clutched tightly around the ring that Bella threw at me. The ring I gave her the first time we went to the meadow in Forks. I would just have to wait. No matter how I wanted to apologize I now knew that it wouldn't be as simple as that. I had to heal her before she could love me again.


	11. Difficult Conversations

Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments.

**Difficult Conversations**

**Bella's Point of View**

After he left I was still on the floor. Rosalie Came over and picked me up and set me up on the bed. I was surprised. She was the one who least accepted my presence in the family. Then they all left. Leaving me to my thoughts. I don't know how long it was but I finally fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling drained like I hadn't slept for a week. Then last nights events came rushing back. It took all I had not to cry out in frustration and pain. I forced myself to stop thinking about it. And instead thought about all of the difficult decisions and conversations that I still faced. I weighed my options carefully. While on the one hand my head told me to stay as far away from Edward as possible, my heart told me to tell him and take it from there. I had followed my heart once even though it had led me to great happiness it also lead me to great pain. With my decision made, I acted. Before I could call out Alice came in the room.

"Everything has been taken care of we are leaving in a hour so that you and Edward can talk." Alice said

"Thanks." Was all I could think to say

"And here is your breakfast." Alice said

She handed my some strawberry pop tarts.

"Thanks Alice you're the best." I said

"Don't I know it." She said wry

To pass the time I read Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I was almost to the end when I heard Alice call that they were leaving and that they would be back in a little while. I took that as my signal to go find Edward. I got up from the bed and went down to the living room, when I didn't find him there I went to the music room where I could faint stains of a piano. I went in without bothering to knock. That's when he turned around and looked at me and then I knew that I had to be strong enough to do this.

"We need to talk." I stated in a cool voice.

He shrugged as if to say whatever. He got up and started to go towards the door. I backed away instinctively as he came closer to me. His eyes hardened when he saw that.

"Where would you like to talk." Edward asked

His voice was hard cold and unfeeling. His face a hard mask. Like when he left me.

"The living room please." I said my voice cracking

He nodded and started at human pace to go down to the living room. We walked in silence. When we entered I took the chair by the fire place and he took the couch facing the fire place. We sat as though we were only a few feet from each other we were miles away from each other emotionally.

"I don't know where to start so I'm just going to start at the beginning." I said.

I had to keep my voice emotionless to make this the least painful for me.

"When you left, it felt like someone had ripped out my heart, but first they had ground it into tiny pieces and then put it back in my chest so that I would keep living but I would never be whole. That was before everything went blank. When was that way I know remember what it was like. I did what was necessary to survive nothing more. I avoided reminders of you where ever I went. But at night I couldn't escape the reminders for they would flood me. And I would drown. Then that's when I thought I saw you again you were sitting in my rocking chair. And you said that you were sorry and you took off again. But then I kept looking for you for weeks. But I never saw you again. I remember when I first found out that you were a vampire I had a decision to make. To take the risk of loving you and then loosing you. Or I go on with my life and never know what could have been. Even only knowing you for that short of a period of time my mind shied away from the second option." My voice was still cold and unemotional like it had started in the beginning but I was less under control for I felt myself shaking.

Edward was looking at me with sadness in his eyes and I couldn't fathom why.

"Bella, I left you to protect you. I love you so much. I never thought that I would hurt you this much by leaving you I am so sorry. Will you please forgive me so that we can start new again?" Edward pleaded. His cold mask slipping.

"Edward it's not that simple I forgive you the hurt that you caused me because you were trying to protect me but I don't think that we could ever be anything more than just friends." I said to him my voice wild

"Bella, then take this ring and when you feel that you can trust me again put it back where it belongs for the rest of your life." Edward said

"Ok."

We just looked at each other for a few more moments and I got up and went upstairs.


	12. Thoughts

Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything is similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments. 

**Thoughts**

**Bella's Point Of View**

When I got back to the safety of my room. My thoughts were frantic. I forced myself to calm down and look at the ring in my hand. The one that he gave me almost two years ago. That day in the meadow.

**Flashback**

_I felt a cool piece of metal slide on my finger. I looked up at Edward confused. He just laughed softly _

"_I wanted to give you a promise ring." Edward explained _

"_What's the promise." I challenged him_

"_That as long as you have this ring I will be with you forever weather I'm by your side or out there in the world. And that I'll always keep you safe." Edward said. _

_He pulled me closer. If that was even possible. It struck me as odd at the time but I just shrugged it off._

**Present**

I didn't know it then but he was going to leave me. But then another memory tugged at the corner of my mind.

**Flashback **

_The forest was looming in on me and then the nothingness surrounded me like a thick winter blanket. I woke up screaming it was particularly bad tonight my lungs burned for air. After I regained my bearings I reached for the glass of water on the nightstand. That's when I felt him his arms encircled my body as if to hold me together. Then he whispered in my hair how much he was sorry and that he was only away from me to protect me and that he would always keep me safe no matter where I was. He was sobbing and I reached over to comfort him as if to say that everything was going to be alright as long as we had each other. _

_But as soon as I tried to reach over he jumped out of the bed and he turned around I looked at his face it startled me for it had the same expression that I had come to expect when I looked in the mirror in the morning. _

"_Bella, I'm so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me." Edward pleaded _

_Before he jumped out of the window._

_I jumped from my bed and ran to the window even though I knew it would be useless I tried to call after him. _

"_Edward! Come back. Please come back. Damn you come back!" I screamed. _

_By that point I didn't care who heard me, as long as Edward came back to me. I broke down completely._

**Present**

I didn't want to think anymore so I put on a cd that I found going through some of my stuff. When I started to listen to the lyrics and that didn't help me one bit it was Your Call by Secondhand Serenade

"_cause I was born to tell you I love you now I am torn to do what I have to to make you mine to say with me tonight cause every breath you will take when your sitting next to will breath life into my deepest hopes. I am tired of being all alone and in this solitary moment makes me want to come back home."_

I just couldn't listen to the song any more so I pressed the skip button but realized to late that the next song on the cd was Fall for you.

"_Because tonight will be the night will be the night that I will fall for you over again don't make change my mind or I won't live to see another day I swear it's true." _

I quickly turned off my cd player before I heard anymore.

I had a decision to make. I didn't want it influenced by what the words were telling me to feel.

I started to fiddle with my ring the one given to me by the one person that makes my existence bearable.

Then I slowly inched it back to where it belonged on my finger. I had made my decision a long time ago and for better or for worse I was going to stick with it.


	13. Kidnapped

Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything is similar I am sorry, I don't mean to make any copy write in fragments. 

**Kidnapped **

**Bella's Point Of View**

It's hard to believe that two weeks have passed since I've come to live with the Cullen's. Time doesn't have meaning any more. I miss my parents terribly but I think that they have gone on to a place where they are happy. I like to think that they have moved on to heaven where they belong. I mussed. I pulled my self out of bed.

I heard someone knock on the door.

"Come in." I said.

I saw Edward come in with a breakfast tray. It was loaded with French toast and eggs.

"Well I could get used to this." I said.

"Well your going to have to fend for yourself for a couple of day's because we need to go hunting. " Edward said with mock enthusiasm

"When do you leave?" I asked

"As soon as Alice comes back with Jasper from their little side trip." Edward said.

I felt a tightness grip my chest. I didn't want Edward to go even though I know that he has to go. As if sensing my thoughts Edward grabbed my had.

"I promise we will be back, in a couple day's, and believe me it might not even be that long because I am sure to drive them all nuts." Edward said.

I nodded.

"There here. I have to go." Edward said sounding sad.

"Go have a good time." I said forcing a smile

He got up to leave and walked to the door.

"Take care of my heart." Edward said

"Take care of mine to." I answered.

I looked down at the pile of food suddenly having lost my apatite I put the food on the bed side table. I could hear the card door slam and the engine start and the spite of the gravel as they drove away.

About an hour later the phone rang.

"Hello, Cullen residence." I said

"Meet me at the end of the drive way in twenty minuets, and don't leave a note or Edward dies." a voice said on the other end of the phone.

I felt cold inside as I hung up the phone. I would meet the man at the end of the drive way as promised to save Edward. I would do this for him for life without him would be unbearable.

I went out to the end of the drive exactly twenty minuets later. There was a man and a woman was with him. She grinned evilly. And they were both vampires. The male beckoned me to come forward and I did numbly not wanting to give them a reason to kill Edward. He pulled out a rag which my body immediately shied away from. But the woman had come up behind me and held me firmly. The man put the rag over my mouth and nose firmly and that was the last thing that I saw before I passed out.


	14. Bella's Gone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own twilight! Stephanie Meyer does. I respect other peoples work so if anything is similar I am sorry, I don't make any copy write in fragments. 

**Bella's Gone**

**Edward's Point Of View**

I drove to the house twice the normal speed that I usually drive at. I needed to see Bella. Just to make sure that she was alright. I hate leaving her to hunt. But I had to. I turned into the end of the drive. In mere seconds I was in front of the house. I walked in. Something wasn't right. Her scent was there but it was stale like she hadn't been here in a couple of days. I ripped out my cell phone

"Alice get everyone and come home. It's about Bella." My voice was an agonized whisper.

I didn't wait for her to reply. I shut my phone and began looking around. There were no signs of forced entry when I came in. No sign of other vehicles but ours on the drive.

I went up the stairs to her room and nothing looked out of the ordinary except that the breakfast that I had made her was untouched. I left and went to my room the first thing I noticed was that the phone was on the hook but it wasn't completely there. I put the phone back on the cradle and then picked it up again. I pushed *69

The phone on the other end began to ring. After no one picked up the answering message was a woman's cool voice:

"You have reached Jane and Alex please leave your name and number and we will get back to you as soon as possible."

I went colder.

The door slammed downstairs. I ran down only to find my family there confused.

"Bella, has been taken the Volturi are behind this." My voice broke on every word.

"Edward are you sure?" Rosalie asked

"Rose, he's sure." Alice said snapped

"What are we going to do now?" Esme answered

No one answered. I already knew the answer go up against Volturi. But to do that would be suicide everyone knew that. I couldn't ask them to give up their lives for me and Bella.

"I could not ask you to go up against Volturi. I will go alone." Edward said.

"Edward of course we will go with you. We'll think of a plan on the way." Alice said her voice serious

"If your going I'm leaving now." Edward said

He ran to the car with the rest of his family behind him.

* * *

**Sorry About the delay I have no internet access where I am at I will update as soon as I can**


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